the speech impediment of the 21st century (by Marc Johns)
I’ll fuck you up buddy this is not a speech impediment it’s linguistic evolution!! the existence of the phrase “Aisha was like” allows the speaker to convey whatever Aisha said without making the listener assume they’re quoting Aisha directly while still maintaining the FEELING of what Aisha said.
ie, Aisha said she didn’t want to go out with me VERSUS Aisha was like, “I’d rather kiss a Wookie”.
the addition of “XYZ was like” lets the speaker be more expressive and efficient and it is a totally valid method of communicating information!!
With the way language has evolved, this is one of the few ways I can even think of to express in casual conversation what someone said.
"So I said to Aisha," is certainly used, but if you remove the "so," which implies casual tone ("and" can be used in the same way), you get
"I said to Aisha," which is really formal in most English dialects/variations. I don’t know about all, but in New England dialects, you sound like you’re reading aloud from a novel.
"I told Aisha," is really only used when you continue to describe, not tell, what you told her. Ex: "I told Aisha that James was too punk for her" works while, "I told Aisha, ‘James is too punk for you’" crosses the line back into formalness of the "I said."
Things like “I asked” or “I answered [with]” are similar levels of casual and efficient to the “So, I said [or say, as many conversations about the past take place in present tense anyway, as if the speaker is giving a play-by-play in the moment]” but are specific to only certain situations.
"I was like, 'Marc Johns, what is your obsession with restoring archaic speech patterns and interfering with the natural progression of English from complex to efficient?'" envelopes all of these easily and is accessible and crisp, and allows for more variations on inflection than the others.
Of course, James is probably like, “I already fucking said that.” But eh, I tried adding on.
This a million times
A poem has secrets that the poet knows nothing of.
if you didn’t love Balthazar you’re wrong
fun fact: when Titanic came out a company made necklaces that looked like the one Rose wore and put full page ads in Sunday newspapers. The model they got to help sell this Titanic tie in was
When Balthazar unsunk the ship to prevent the movie from being made he also stopped young Mr. Ackles from posing for these ads
HOLLYWOOD HEART-THROB JENSEN ACKLES SIZZLES WITH TITANIC FEVER AS HE SHOWS OFF THE BLUE HEART JEWEL FOR ALL HIS GAL PALS
I hate it when men make unsolicited comments about a woman’s body. Like “she’s got a nice shape but she needs to tighten up her stomach”
How about you tighten up your lips and never speak again you ignorant shit.
Wow maybe you need to accept constructive criticism jesus christ.
Men telling me (or any other woman) what I need to do for them to find me sexually attractive is not constructive criticism.